Dear Santa,
For Christmas this year, please give me a hole in my masters back fence. We really do love playing that game where I dig the holes and he fills them in, but just once, I’d like for one of mine to go somewhere. There’s seriously a ton of people and dogs on the other side of that fence who are dying to meet me! Barking at them just isn’t cutting it.
Dear Santa,
Where are all the squirrels? There’s nothing better than bolting at a nice fat squirrel like a bat out of hell. I consider myself to be admirably fast, but those fluffy-tailed rats are ingenious! Still – I always love to rise to a challenge! Oh it’s the best! The thrill of the flight! The smell of squirrely fear – OH! Look! A squirrel!
Dear Santa,
Last letter should have read, “PS: Bring more squirrels”. Thanks. Also, please make them stupid ones.
Dear Santa,
Please write a note to my master. He needs to know that barking is absolutely necessary! There are a ton of things that need to be barked at, and I’m pretty sure he’s not going to do it. Also, please tell him we can definitely cut back on the baths this year. Yes, my paws are dirty from digging the holes in your yard, and yes, I’m perfectly fine with it. “Dirty” is such a strong word. Isn’t it good enough that I don’t shed much?
Dear Santa,
Master would like a robotic vacuum cleaner for Christmas, and I must say I quite agree. The big ones are such fun to attack! I can only imagine how fun a vacuum cleaner with a mind of its own would be! Do you think it runs if you bark at it?
Dear Santa,
You should know that we Westies are not “lap dogs”. Lap dogs are basically lazy dogs that think they’ve got a good excuse. Westies though – we’re vigilant! Not a moment goes by where I don’t know where my master is. I’ll sit by his desk when he’s working and I sleep on his bed. I never miss his morning coffee. We express affection through inventing new games, spontaneous humor, and enjoyed shared space. If that’s not love – tell me what is?
Oh, and, Dear Santa,
I’m a friendly dog by default, but if you come down the chimney in the dead of night, anything goes. Best to knock. You can park the reindeer by the red Toyota out front.
